


The Words We Say...

by orphan_account



Series: Jeremwood Oneshots [33]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Angry Words, Angst, Battle Buddies AU, Fluff, M/M, Pain, Regret, Rooster Corps, Sadness, The Agency - Freeform, Typical Canon Violence, battle buddies, jeremwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-24
Updated: 2020-07-24
Packaged: 2021-03-04 19:07:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25491367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Jeremy and Ryan have a bad fight.
Relationships: Ryan Haywood/Jeremy Dooley
Series: Jeremwood Oneshots [33]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/611044
Kudos: 24





	The Words We Say...

Jeremy glared angry daggers at the door as it slammed shut, the sound of a motorcycle engine revving reaching his ears a moment later before it faded into the distance. He was hurt, yeah, but his anger and stubbornness were stronger right now.

_I was right and Ryan was a fucking dumbass as usual!_ he thought as he stormed to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water.

The two had just had a fight, a bad one, worse than any they'd had before. Usually their fights were just little arguments that didn't last long and always ended with hugs and cuddles, and if one party was feeling particularly guilty, some sweet kisses.

But this was different.

Jeremy honestly couldn't even remember what had started the fight, some silly argument that honestly meant nothing to either of them. But both men had a horrible habit of needing to be right, needing to win at all costs. Insults were exchanged, names called, swearing that wasn't their normal poking and prodding to get reactions out of the other.

This was bad.

Jeremy knew deep down that he was probably in the wrong, being the first to explode and use every dirty trick he knew to get under Ryan's skin. No, that was wrong too. He hadn't been trying to get under the gent's skin, he'd wanted to hurt Ryan. Hurt him so bad he'd never forget. Ryan being headstrong had fired back shot for shot, but Jeremy had sensed that the man had been hurt deeply and had tried to hold back at first.

_Ryan's never wanted to hurt me, even in combat training. He always pulls his punches, just a little. It fucking pisses me off!_ Jeremy's anger rose in his chest and he nearly shattered the glass in his hand.

He took a deep breath and leaned against the wall, slowly sliding down until he was sitting on the floor. He placed his head in his hands and rubbed his scalp.

"There's nothing to be sorry about. Ryan will cool his ass off then come back and apologize to me for being an asshole and everything will go back to normal," he muttered.

_You need to apologize to him! He didn't do anything wrong, you went for blood this is on you,_ his inner voice yelled.

"Fuck no! If he wasn't such a dumbass and followed basic, easy instructions we wouldn't have had this stupid fight!" he growled.

_That's not fair to him. You know he's been sleeping less, and you weren't exactly a hundred percent sober yourself. Call him and apologize._

Jeremy shook his head and slammed his fist against the wall beside him. He wasn't about to be told what to do, even by his own damn self. He stood and stormed over to the living room, turning on the tv and Xbox and booting up some Doom Eternal. He needed some rip and tear to burn out his anger. He played for hours, not even caring about how long he'd been sitting there. Finally his growling stomach persuaded him to leave the digital world and forage for food. Nothing seemed appealing and he really didn't feel like cooking at the moment, so he decided to order a pizza.

"Go figure I'm gonna get fat because of that fucking moron!" he growled.

_Fuck off! How is this Ryan's fault?!_

"If he hadn't been so stupid I wouldn't be this worked up and would've cooked us up a nice healthy meal," he argued with himself. He put in his order and went back to his game, glancing at the clock and wondering where Ryan actually was and what he was doing. Not that he really cared.

Finally the pizza arrived. Jeremy pigged out with no regrets, playing a few rounds of Halo 3 before he looked at the clock again.

"He's had long enough to cool off. Where the fuck is he?" he wondered.

He decided to take a shower, the warm water washing over him eased the tension in his body and helped him relax. Tears formed in his eyes but he refused to let them fall. He might be starting to realize how wrong he was, but he was still stubborn and upset.

He checked his phone after drying off and putting on fresh clothes. He frowned.

"Okay where the fuck is he?" he exclaimed. He dialed the man's phone number and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

The phone went to voicemail after several rings went unanswered, Jeremy growing concerned. Ryan always answered the phone when he called, and Jeremy always did when the gent called.

"Hey. I'm still mad, but it's getting late. You should come home. We can talk when you get back. Don't do anything stupid," he said before hanging up. After a moment he quickly sent out a text to Ryan telling him there was some leftover pizza in the fridge.

"If anything gets him home, it'll be that," he muttered and walked back to the living room. He spent the next three hours sitting on the couch playing on his phone, games, checking emails to see if HQ had given them an assignment yet, reading a little and worriedly checking the time.

Something was wrong. He looked out the window but couldn't see any sign of his partner anywhere. He frowned. This wasn't like Ryan. The man needed his space sure, and occasionally would be assigned solo missions, but he was never away this long voluntarily.

He tried calling again and once again got a voicemail. He was starting to grow very worried, his anger and frustration from earlier wearing off.

"What if something happened? What if he's hurt, or worse?" he wondered aloud. He shook his head and told himself he was being dramatic. Ryan could handle himself, he'd proven that on more than one occasion, standing against impossible odds on countless missions they'd been on together, always impressing the lad.

"He probably just turned his phone off cause he's upset. That's what I'd do," he mumbled.

Except it isn't what he'd do.

Ever since that assignment in Brazil three years ago, the two had kept their phones on and close by, always answering calls and texts. Jeremy slid to the floor again and pulled his knees up to his chest as the memories returned.

They'd been separated for the mission, Ryan working on dismantling a shitload of explosives they'd found while Jeremy scouted ahead, the better at stealth between the two. He'd been observing several enemy units moving large crates onto a ship when he'd been knocked out. He'd come to tied to a chair in the ship's hold, several large men there scowling at him. They interrogated him, trying to find out who he worked for, and if there were others in the area. He'd done what he'd been trained to do and kept his mouth shut, taking the punches. He refused to betray the Agency, but more importantly, he refused to betray Ryan. The two had become close over the six years they'd worked together as partners, and Jeremy would rather die than let Ryan get hurt or killed.

They'd resorted to more extreme means of interrogation, border-lining on torture. Jeremy had gritted his teeth and focused on the image of Ryan in his head, the gent smiling, cheeks slightly pink. It helped him get through it, suffering burns and cuts on various parts of his body. They'd given up after almost three hours of no progress, saying they were about ready to head out to sea. They'd debated killing him there and then, but one suggested just shoving him overboard and letting him drown or letting the sharks feed on him after they'd left port. There'd been one suggestion that had made Jeremy sick of selling him off, each man making some sort of compliment of how he'd make a good source of sexual entertainment for a few of their contacts.

He'd been left alone for several minutes, only then letting his guard down and allowing the tears he'd been holding back to fall. He'd never see Ryan again, he'd be subjected to the worst treatment any human could go through. His hope had faded fast as he sat there alone. Finally the sound of gunfire had reached his ears followed by panicked screams. He'd briefly thought of how badly he'd wanted to be the cause of those screams, to pay back the assholes for every cut, burn, and punch they'd given him. The hatch had opened, light from outside filtering in and blinding him temporarily, but the cry of relief was all to familiar and he'd smiled. After Ryan had rescued him the two had been inseparable.

Jeremy held his head in his hands as tears poured down his cheeks. Remembering that day made him realize just how much he did love Ryan, how important the gent was to him, how the thought of losing him was the lad's greatest fear. He picked up his phone and dialed Ryan's cell again.

Voicemail.

"Ryan, I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry! I was wrong and shouldn't have said those awful things to you. Please, come home. You don't have to keep loving me I just want to know you're safe, then if you want I'll leave. Please forgive me, Ry! Come home buddy," he cried, unashamed of his tears now.

He curled up in a ball on the floor and cried, his heart hurting more than it ever had before. He wasn't sure how long he was there, maybe a few minutes, maybe hours before his phone rang. He jumped at it and held it to his ear.

"Ryan! Are you oka..."

"It's Michael. Jeremy, you need to come to the hospital," Michael said, voice tight. Jeremy felt his blood run cold. He was frozen in place and couldn't move or speak.

"I...I, um, I can't. I'm waiting for Ryan to come home," he stammered out finally. There was a long pause on the other end of the line before Michael replied.

"I'm coming to get you. Be ready."

The phone went dead and Jeremy felt dread filling him. Surely it wasn't Ryan in the hospital! He was too strong and cunning to get hurt that badly. He sent off a quick text to Ryan's cell, hoping the gent just wasn't in a talking mood and would respond to a message instead.

A few minutes later Michael was at his door, looking pale and scared, which terrified Jeremy more than anything.

"What's wrong?" he asked quietly as they got into Michael's car. The other lad remained silent as they drove, his silence not helping Jeremy's growing anxiety.

When they reached the hospital Michael put the car in park but didn't exit the vehicle. Jeremy remained, waiting for his friend to speak up.

"Lil J..." he said at last, and his tone tore a hole in Jeremy's heart.

"Please, tell me it isn't him," he whispered, tears already welling up in his eyes.

Michael remained silent but looked up into Jeremy's eyes with the saddest expression he'd ever seen. In that instant, Jeremy knew. The tears fell and a wail ripped itself from his throat. His chest felt tight and he was finding it hard to breathe. The sounds around him faded into a dull white noise as he cried. He launched himself out of the car and charged into the hospital. He spotted Gavin and Trevor sitting in the lobby, and Jack at the reception desk. The gent saw Jeremy and tears instantly filled his eyes as he opened his arms, Jeremy running into them like a sad, scared child would to their parent.

"Jack, please tell me it isn't him!" Jeremy cried. Jack squeezed Jeremy tightly before stepping back and looking down at the lad in his arms. Jeremy saw the tears streaming the larger man's cheeks and knew his worst fears were coming true.

"I want to see him," he whispered.

"It's not good Lil J," Jack started.

"I don't give a fuck Jack! I need to see him!" Jeremy screamed, burying his face in Jack's chest again.

The gent nodded and exchanged glances with Trevor and Gavin before leading Jeremy to a room down the hall. Geoff was inside and turned when the two entered, his eyes filling with tears when he saw Jeremy.

"Lil J..." he started.

Jeremy looked to the bed in the room, his heart stopping. Time seemed to slow down as his gaze fell on the figure lying in the bed.

Ryan looked awful, like he'd been run over by a truck and then dragged through the streets. He was bandaged up almost to the point where he was unrecognizable, monitors beeped around him indicating his vitals. Jeremy took in a sharp breath and took a step forward, then another and another until he was racing to Ryan's side, collapsing into the chair beside the gent's bed and hovering over the man.

"Ryan," he breathed softly, hesitantly reaching out to take the man's hand in his own.

Ryan's breathing was steady, not labored or strained which Jeremy took to be a good sign. His hand limp in Jeremy's grasp made the lad's breath hitch. Tears fell unrepentant from Jeremy's eyes as he watched Ryan, taking him in as if it was the last time he was ever going to see the man again, and in a way, he knew it might very well be.

"What happened to you?" he asked aloud.

"The police say he was ambushed and then beat within an inch of his life. Though, judging by his injuries I don't believe that's the whole story," Jack said.

"Probably gang related, or someone who recognized him as a Hunter and decided to take him out," Geoff growled. Jeremy cried harder. This was all his fault.

"This wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for me," he sobbed.

"What do you mean?" Jack asked gently.

"We had a big fight, a bad one, Jack. I was so cruel to him, I said things, I wanted to hurt him. He left and that's when this happened," Jeremy cried as he looked up at the gents.

"Oh Jeremy, this isn't your fault," Geoff choked out.

"It is Geoff! If I hadn't been an asshole to him he never would've left the house, and he never would've gotten hurt. This is my damn fault! And if he..." Jeremy broke off and squeezed his eyes tight before looking at Ryan. "If he dies, I'll never forgive myself."

Jack and Geoff wrapped the lad in a tight hug as he cried, still holding on to Ryan's hand.

"I'm sorry Ryan! I'm so, so sorry! Please come back to me," Jeremy sobbed.

The three stayed like that, wrapped in each other's embraces, for what felt like hours. A nurse walked in and said that visiting hours were over and they'd have to come back tomorrow. Jeremy let out another cry and latched himself to Ryan's hand and the bed, refusing to leave. The nurse softened up a bit as Jack explained the situation.

"I'll talk to the doctor, I'm sure he'll be okay if you stayed. I can find you some pillows and a blanket and you can sleep on the other bed," she said gently, Jeremy sniffling and nodding, before looking to Jack and Geoff.

"He'll be okay, Lil J. Don't worry, Ryan is one stubborn motherfucker. Death won't have such an easy time taking him," Geoff said and hugged Jeremy one last time before turning to go.

Jack just laid a hand on the lad's shoulder and smiled sadly.

"If you need anything, or when he wakes up, call us. We'll give you time to be together but we want to see him too," he said gently. Jeremy just nodded before turning back to Ryan, resuming his guard.

"I'm here, Ry. I'm not leaving you. You need to wake up now so I can properly apologize and beg for your forgiveness for being such an ass to you. You hear me? You get better okay?" he said, voice choked and hoarse from crying.

"I heard that people in the hospital can hear their loved ones even when they don't look like they're responsive. So that's what I'm gonna do, Ry. I'm going to keep talking to you until you wake up and tell me to shut up," Jeremy smiled and squeezed Ryan's hand softly.

"When you get better I'm gonna make you all the things you like to eat! I'll bring you donuts to make up for the awful hospital food. I know you'd like that," the lad continued, trying hard not to cry again.

Hours passed, Jeremy saying whatever came to mind that he thought would help Ryan wake up, or at least comfort him in his state. He wasn't sure what was wrong with the gent, the nurse said he wasn't in a coma, maybe just unconscious? That had to be it. He still felt warm to Jeremy so that was a good sign, and his vitals were showing progress.

"We've been through way worse than this buddy, you can pull through, I know you can. You're not gonna let a few scrapes and bruises knock you down, you're Ryan Haywood! The most dangerous and crafty agent we have," Jeremy lowered his voice almost to a whisper. "And the most important man in my life. I need you Ryan, I can't go on without you. We can't be the Battle Buddies with just one buddy. I'm not as strong or as brave as you."

Tears started welling up in his eyes again and he did his best to fight them back. He looked up at the light fixture and sniffled. He couldn't lose Ryan. They were two halves of the same whole. They worked well together. And Jeremy was head over heels for him.

"I can't lose another person I love," he breathed, closing his eyes and hanging his head.

"I-I love y-you too...J-Jer."

Jeremy's head shot up and he let out a cry when he saw Ryan looking back at him. Granted, the gent looked awful, tired, and could barely keep his eyes open, but none the less, there he was looking up at Jeremy with those beautiful blue eyes!

"Ryan!" Jeremy exclaimed and brought the gent's hand up to his lips, smothering it in kisses. Ryan smiled weakly.

"If I'd known this would be my reception, I'd have gotten my ass beat long ago," he chuckled, the act making him cough horribly.

"You need to rest, don't strain yourself!" Jeremy immediately snapped into caregiver mode.

"Jeremy, I need to tell you something," Ryan croaked out.

"Not right now buddy, please. Save your strength so you can get better faster," Jeremy shook his head.

Ryan frowned and weakly grabbed Jeremy's wrist, halting the lad and tugging him closer. Even in his weakened state, Ryan was strong and a little intimidating.

"I'm sorry for what I said to you. It was cruel. I was being a jerk and should've listened," he rasped out. Jeremy's eyes filled with tears.

"No, no! It's my fault, I was being awful to you. I was trying to hurt you, I didn't just want to have a little spat. I'm sorry I hurt you, I'm sorry I ran you out. This is all my fault I should've been a better friend," he sobbed.

"What're you talking about? You're the best friend I could ever ask for! I wouldn't want anyone else to be my battle buddy," Ryan smiled and reached up a hand to cup Jeremy's cheek.

Jeremy leaned into the touch and smiled, pressing soft kisses to Ryan's palm before he leaned down and gently kissed the gent.

"I'll get the nurse to let them know you're awake. Then you rest up so I can ravage you properly."

Ryan chuckled and nodded, smiling as Jeremy called for the nurses, returning to his side with a wide smile as they pressed their foreheads together.

"I love you, Ryan."

"I love you more, Jeremy."

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was inspired by the Werewolves incident a few months ago. As always, kudos and comments encouraged and thank you for reading!


End file.
